On the Catwalk

My husband wants to turn our cat into a feline supermodel.  A child star, a cat in the biz, if you will.

As you can imagine, I'm not certain how I feel about this.

It all began last month when he was chatting with a coworker about her cat, who apparently has an agent, does commercials, and earns $15,000 - $20,000 per gig...I can just picture our crotchety cat's face surrounded by floating dollar signs popping into my husband's mind.

$$  Ka-ching!  $$

Doting cat Mother that I am, I was leery when he came home that night and relayed this curious information to me.  He began by casually inquiring, "What kind of breed is Kittie?"  Puzzled, I answered, "I'm not sure, black and white?  Surly?  Why?" 

And it was then that the sordid little story began to unfold, how the coworker had bragged about her cat, how Brian told her that our Kittie was, well...

"What exactly did you tell her about Kittie?"  I asked. I had to hear him verbalize this, it was too good to miss.  I needed to hear him say out loud that he had actually told some woman from work that our cat was...what?  Good-looking?  Exceptionally photogenic?  Breathtakingly beautiful?  I mean, I myself make these sort of claims all the time, but Brian?  Although he is admittedly very fond of Kittie, he has yet to make that crossover into the Land of The Creepy Cat Owner.  I, however, own Real Estate there.

He looked slightly embarrassed. "I don't know, I guess I said she's black and white and the coloring on her face is very...symmetrical?"

"Oh come on!  If this lady thinks Kittie could be a child star than you must've said more than that!  You had to have said she was at least good-looking."  I wasn't letting him off the hook this easy.

All the while Kittie was sitting upright on the couch like a human, like she does, staring soulfully at us while holding out one of her six-fingered paws in mid air.  It was almost as if she sensed we were discussing her.  Then she let out a yawn, stuck her leg straight into the air and immediately began licking her butt. 

God I love that cat.

Let's face it, Kittie is drop dead gorgeous, and I'm not simply saying that because she is my daughter.  She's like the Gisele of friggin cats!  She's totally hot.

My sister pointed out that our Kittie has a bit of a weight problem, and this could perhaps hinder her career as a high fashion model. I countered with the suggestion that Kittie could be the most stunning plus-sized cat model this side of the Hudson. "Yes," my sister suggested, "Maybe Kittie could be the before cat on the Science Diet Light ads."   

Weeks passed and happily there was no further mention of whoring out our cat for financial gain.  Until the other night, that is, when my husband came home and said, "That lady and her cat are going to Vegas this week.  She's making a ton of money off of her cat!" 

I tried to dismiss him, but he was excited.  "Look at Kittie, the way she poses for pictures, she loves it!  And I was thinking about it, maybe that's what she did before we adopted her, you know?  Maybe Kittie was a cat model and that's why she feels so comfortable having her picture taken!"

OK, I realize he was joking here, (or at least I hope he was) but it's true, the cat can pose for a picture.  She's a natural, she just sits there, staring at us, holding some impossibly sultry position while we click away.

Could Kittie have been a cat model in her former life?  Not only that, could she be secretly yearning to return to her former career?  A career oozing with glitz, glamor and hunky, catnip-addicted Tomcats?  Champagne cocktails and tuna flavored treats?  Or could she be content to live out her retirement with us, lounging around the apartment, eating, snoring, napping in the bathroom sink... 

Maybe life in the fast lane was just too much for Kittie and she's actually relieved to be living a quiet existence with my husband and me.  I mean, I've heard the world of feline fashion and entertainment can be hell, maybe Kittie had been a catnip-a-holic?  She does have a taste for the stuff...

In truth, this will not be an easy decision...I will consult Kittie and keep you posted.

Comments

[Jenna]

Kittie does look especially sultry. Almost like a Jayne Mansfield or Marilyn Monroe, only a cat.

[Keely]

If Kittie was a boy, and a human, I would date her.

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